18 January 2010

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How to Deal with Anger? What is Anger?

How to Deal with Anger? What is Anger?

Reality views by sm –

Anger is but one letter short of danger.

Anger another reality of life just like death, no one can avoid anger.

Death comes just one time, but anger can bring death every time we become angry.

Like death as no one likes to choose, no one likes to be angree.

There is no medicine to cure the anger, when it will come and when it will go no one can predict easily.

When person is angree he can do things what he normally do not do it, he can speak and use all xyz words which society says should not be used.

But using the bad words makes a way out for our anger.
But doing we hurt our loved ones , mother and father can forgive us if we use before them, as they understand the pain and problems as we all stay together, but like them there is no guarantee that others can understand us and this becomes cause for the breaking of relationships as well as cause of fights with relatives.

Anger is very dangerous for everyone; one second of anger can kill a person, kill a loved one or kill a relationship.
You are the first person damaged by your anger. Holding out to your anger is like grasping a very hot coal and ready to throw to the subject of your anger, you are the one who gets burned.
Anger is a universal disease whatever race and religion you follow you are infected with that including myself.

A complete human race is infected with anger and no one is able to find the solution cure for anger management.
I am sure even a kid can say when his father or mother or teacher or neighbor is angry.
Just like happiness, everyone knows and sees that opposite person is angry and still we are not able to stop him from anger, there are chances that we also get angry just like smile will spread a smile, an angry person will spread anger.

In many cases anger is the real cause of murder or attack on another person, but in India I want to clear it here mob anger is not a real anger, it is a preplanned crime against a particular office or person or shop.
Anger is friend to males as well as females, you make keep females compulsory behind hijab but anger will be there behind the hijab.
This anger can be positive and negative, and successful people make a difference here, at the right time, they know this and their anger becomes their power.

This is what all meditations try to teach us be balanced and be aware.
We males may or may not treat and give equality to females but anger is superior to the males as he follows equality, so I am confused does anger is a male or female?

If you got any thoughts please let me know on this,
Should I use term He for anger or should I use term she?

When anger is positive we see the people like Bhagat Singh, or Bose, when anger negative , is guided by evil thinking humans we see the deeds of terror acts done by kasab or activities of mob rule in a democratic state where a movie also needs a censor from every rich person or politician.
Anger can take us to the addictions, when this happens it is also not good.

Normally all the people because of society rules suppress there anger exception is our family but now a days it is also becoming difficult to show anger to family members.

So everyone needs to think on the anger and how to deal, cope with the anger.
When we realize the importance of anger control majority people have lost their prime age when it is necessary to know and understand about the anger.

Our schools should teach about the anger management but no one is ready to talk about this.
Humans become angry because of many reasons sometimes to show who is powerful, sometimes to improve image, sometimes on society and frustrations .It is very difficult to predict on which point or incident one human will become angree.

When we are teens we become angry even our brother or sister takes our pens but when we become older, we willingly tell our brother please you can keep my pen.

Like this with time and age the cause of anger keeps changing.
Even someone can become angry because of smell, bad smell or good smell.
Once we learn about the anger and how to deal with the anger surely we will have peaceful sleep, it will lead us to make more money and more satisfaction.

We have to make our anger constructive not destructive.
Learning to deal with anger is a life long process it will end only with our death.
• Emotion and enemy
• Emotions and fear
• Emotions and revenge
• Emotion and blame
• Emotions and boss ,office environment
• Emotions and Judgment
• Emotions and depression
• Emotion and lack of communication

all the above emotions lead us to anger.

When someone goes with planning, with hockey sticks to beat someone it is not the result of any type of anger, it is just a criminal Taliban activity to control that person and make him the slave your organization or leader and his thoughts.

Majority time’s anger leads us to the following habits or problems-

Following are the gifts of anger –

• Smoking
• Drinking alcohol
• Over eating, obesity
• High blood pressure
• High cholesterol
• Unsafe sex
• Ignorance and accidents
• Road Rage
• Divorce
• Murder

And many more.
Normally anger comes and goes within the moments and many times we just suppress the anger in our heart because of one or other reason. And it is not good for health.
As anger keeps accumulating like our deposits in the banks.
So its better to deal with the anger same time , or one should just deep breathe ,walk little or count hundred so the anger calms down and one can face the problem ,which will lead the positive direction or conversation.

We may control our anger but many times we meet such people who just want to fight with us so it is always better to say such people yes my friend you are right, am I wrong one should not fight with such people.

Many times we know the habits of loved once which give us anger so it is better to ignore those habits as it is difficult to change them but we can with love try to change those habits , if we will shout on them I am sure they will also respond same way harming the relationship or friendship.
Whenever we feel angry on someone we can remember in the past how that some person has helped us, how good he was, no one is angry without reason or many times people do not know our xyz habit makes the opposite party angry and he or she is not in a position to say that he or she feels angry. So never create so much fear in the kids or family or our staff that they are not ready to even report there feeling, and this is one of the cause we see that hidden anger takes the person to point where he commits suicide.

Another method to deal with the anger is writing down all the anger, all the feelings on paper and then reading it in heart and burning the paper.
Another method is go to place where no one can hear you and say whatever we feel, but best way is to communicate and understand why the other party is doing this, may be its possible that they do not understand xyz activity is giving problems and anger to someone .

Like kids of neighbor playing loud music, that time we should remember what we did when we were that age and the problem is solve.

always remember positive anger is good and negative anger is bad and majority times we have negative anger on petty problems so we have to communicate and solve it
.we have to make a rule whenever we deal with anger positively we should reward ourselves with the saving of five or ten rupees or giving them to the kids.
We have to learn to say honestly our feelings when we are not feeling good,
[Including myself whatever situation we have habit to say I am fine, there is pain in stomach and same time we say to our friend I am fine]

This is very difficult I also do not do this, still as a method to deal with anger I have to mention it.
Honesty is one of the tools to control and lead our anger towards positive directions.
Everyone has a reason to behave in a certain way ,so we have to know and understand why the other person is behaving like that once we get the answer we can easily solve the problem of anger by removing that reason or avoiding that particular reason which makes other party behave in that matter. Or we can talk with other person regarding this problem which gives us anger.
We have to remember an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind, so it’s better to stop, think, talk and find the solution.

Become more watchful and anger will be less and greed will be less and jealousy will be less.
You are angry, and you watch it. You are not just angry; a new element is introduced into it: you are watching it. And the miracle is that if you can watch anger, the anger disappears without being repressed.

I don’t say anger is wrong, I say anger is energy — pure energy, beautiful energy. When anger arises, be aware of it, and see the miracle happen. When anger arises, be aware of it, and if you are aware you will be surprised; you are in for a surprise — maybe the greatest surprise of your life — that as you become aware, anger disappears. Anger is transformed. Anger becomes pure energy; anger becomes compassion, anger becomes forgiveness, anger becomes love. 

And you need not repress, so you are not burdened by some poison. And you are not being angry, so you are not hurting anybody. Both are saved: the other, the object of your anger, is saved, and you are saved. In the past, either the object was to suffer, or you were to suffer.

What I am saying is that there is no need for anybody to suffer. Just be aware, let awareness be there. Anger will arise and will be consumed by awareness. One cannot be angry with awareness and one cannot be greedy with awareness and one cannot be jealous with awareness. Awareness is the golden key.


Apanatva January 18, 2010  

sm very nice post. what I admire most is variety .You cover every thing .
great going...... Keep it up.

BK Chowla, January 18, 2010  

You seem to be having a flair for research?

sm,  January 18, 2010  


Shabnam Sultan January 18, 2010  

Nice post....... you have a variety. I like the way you write.Keep it up.

Half Indian January 19, 2010  

This is the one which I would like to recommend to anyone.

Aswani January 19, 2010  

Great article..Man I like the way you have described the whole thing. This is one of areas where I tried to work more in recent times. And I've been quite successful till date. Anger kills. I think we need to be more aware of it. No matter how much stressed you are, you should always have control over yourself. Keep cool. Remember - Only Silence and Smile will get you to the top of everything :)

Sharing this post on facebook now..

Samvedna January 19, 2010  

very true..anger is the biggest enemy and there must be some lessons for everybody about tackling it.

sm,  January 19, 2010  

Shabnam Sultan,

sm,  January 19, 2010  

Half Indian,

sm,  January 21, 2010  


sasanka January 21, 2010  

Beautifully stated one of our six 'ripus' ie Kama, Crodha, loav , moha, mada, matshraiya which in my openion not only limited in human being but also in all creatures in the world. We the rational being could try to tame it by rational way, while others couldn't. nice blog.

sm,  January 22, 2010  


Ramkumar January 23, 2010  

Very nicely crafted dude. "Anger is an energy , which favours you or destroys you on how you use it"

sm,  January 23, 2010  


Insignia January 24, 2010  

This is so exhaustive...Thank you for such wonderful post.

sm,  January 24, 2010  


R. Ramesh January 28, 2010  

haha ya u seem to have a flair for research:)wonderful